6/june/06

my life is black and white. i nv go everywhere morning work, night home. no sadness, no happiness. only facing my working area and my house. my dad today ask mi go out wif him go swimming. when wif him to pasir ris swim and buy his stuff. after that i when to my old house kallang. see hows my mother and take my birth cert.she saw mi she was so happy. well its not like her, last time i still remember watever i do, right or wrong. she will scold mi. now seeing her treat mi that good i felt that she have changes to the past. the mummy who dote on mi. buying watever things i wan,showing mi her love . though she's not rich anymore like the past. but seeing her like that i felt that no matter wat she is or wat she's still my mum. i will cherish her. i have lost a really percious girl in my life. i dun wan lose my mum too.

i love her. but i dun even have the chance to talk to her. i dare nt call her dare not do anythin. i scared that i'll make her angry. i cant afford to do that again.even though the percentage of having u back is 1% or even 0.1% i will also try. i wonder hows yur life are u doin well ? stop saying le. it will onli make mi more sad. i love u my xiaobaobei. 6-7 months le not even abit of feeling gone. i even loved u more. cos the taste of how i treated u last time is really very gou fen. u leted mi know wat is true love. i wont regret being wif u, but i regret that i nv cherish u. hais, u guys will nv know how im feeling. gtg slp tml still need work. got free than come update my profile (if u see this, can u promise mi 1 thing? meet mi at east coast at my dream. theres lots of words i wanna tell u. and how much i miss u.)

21/06

well, this coming june 21 its her birthday. i dun tink she'll celebrate wif mi. im sure she'll be goin out. i planning to wait for her to be back. remember last time, i made her angry, after school i when all the way to her house from 3pm i waited for her till 11 plus ? maybe say out le ppl will laugh where will have this kinda guy ?!? but i can say when u love sumone deeply no matter wat u also will do it. the feeling that time i waited for her was. i tinking wat she's doing. maybe she reach home jus that i dun know. but i din give up i waited till 11+ i saw her. i knew she's having flu and cold. i bought her a jacket i wan her to know i care for her. but sumtime doin things stupidly, i cant expect her to tink i change totally. but i can sae, becos of u wanyi im a guy who changed totally now. i love her and no matter wat my feeling wont change . 1 years ? 2 years ? ill wait. i will.

i will not be online for about 1 months cos i told my boss i wan to work full time. i wan to work and earns lotsa money. i wan to give her a unforgetable birthday memory. i tink maybe cant ask her out. she will not wan i tink. waiting for her at her house there. ill wait. sitting at the staircase and tinking of u time really passes very fast.

dota players from clan mVp clan rEv0. ill not be online for 1 months cos im goin to work work work..... Msn every week end have ar! off day i will come msn see u guys and BABEs lol girls also pro dota sia. GOOD LUCK to my dota teams clan PwH=Play With Honour hope we can get to the finals at cine-e2max! we Can Do it! 5k prize waiting for us man!

very sad.

wanyi where are u, do u know i have been missing u badly ? i cant take the pain anymore. why i love u so deeply i end up like this. i know i have done alot of mistake, but i really regret alot alot. i dunno why i keep tinking of u. i tot i cant stop tinking of u for 1 whole day but i cant. im so lonely now. i dunno wat to do. . wanyi only u, only u could light up my life again.GOD BRING MI WIF U PLS. i look hard outisde. inside mi u jus blow at mi and im dead. im serious god take mi wif u i dun wan to be human anymore.

fucked up day for mi

hais sick for 2 days. this few days nv online cos computer tio virus. sure is my friend see porns than tio wan. i dun blame them cos Guys are like that :P sick for 2 days but now still also. hais dunno why. quit drugs need to suffer also meh? i 3-4 days nv touch liao. if i really quit le i wont touch it again. i swear. wakaka tml goin out wif kenny he call girls come along. he insist on calling girl sia. sian i tink im gonna be bored tml. dunno why i see girls like nth special. only seeing wanyi those kinda diff feeling will come. maybe is i love her too much bah. i did not regret loving her. write till here tml than continue bah. very sick wanna go rest.

her words are strong."its impossible" hate myself

today get my result. hais not so bad :) life really very boring as day past by. wats the point of staying wif someone who's not home everyday. i miss mum, hais. nvm bah. i'll visit her if im free. today when to geylang buy stuff. but they nv sell. im so addicted to it. tot i can quit.

slp till nite 8+ i woke up. she msg mi in msn. hais. its i dunno how too cherish her. she told mi she change. wat she use to like, now she dun. i really dunno wat to do. i promise her last time by the month of april get her a pet. this coming june her birthday coming. i tinking that pet can be post ? but if post ard will she take good care of it ? but she told mi its impossible between us, she changed. remember last time she told mi not to leave her. but she very smart. she nv say that she cant leave mi. tinking of the xiaobaobei dabaobei? making mi miss the past. i wan to forget all this. but can i ? she told mi to put more effort to find more girls ? i cant belive she say all this to mi. its really very heart breaking. if its truth, she tinks that i will do that when i love a girl so deeply at the mean time ? my love for her she know?hais, i only can blame myself the past nv love her in the right way only say i love u wif the mouth talking.

i wan quit drugs. i belive i can do it. but will it be hard for mi ? spending money all this. hais taking money to throw at the toilet bowl.

i belive if i have the heart i can do. and i love u no matter wat. give u up ? no way. everyday missing u 24 hours u tink i can ? its easier if u ask mi to die, but dieing is to childish tinking. i will try my best to show her wat i should do in the past. i love my xiaobaobei? will she come back to mi? good luck to mi.

my love for her is so deep

i have been missing her since the day she left mi. hais but wat can i do. start to make a blog cos i din wanna keep inside my heart anymore. im so foolish, i din know how to make her happy. everyday i have been missing her from day to nite, sumtimes i tink her till i cant control myself i starr at her pic and i start to cried. hoping 1 day she'll come back to mi. im so stupid. after she left mi life was really meaningless. i drank everyday till im drunk outside waking up and found myself lieing outside my house doorstep. everyday is the same. hais i really dunno wat to do. glue , 5 , smack ? i tried all but it cost mi alot. i remember that nite the seller told mi the pill was for $50 each. but i onli have $80 wif mi i ask the guy can sell mi 2 pills wat 80 bucks? he told mi cant. i was like omg im addicted to it. it makes mi forget everything. but when i was awake my brains starts to grain up the past again. her face her looks keep appearing in my mind. becos of a girl ? i when to do all this stupid things? my friend told mi SINGAPORE NO GIRLS AR. i told them they wont understand how i feel. i told them i love the girl alot, u know wat they say ? OMG daniel will love a girl till like that? i told myself yea their right i cant even keep the girl i love the most. xiaobaobei dis word always appear inside my mind. dunno wat to say le, but everyday isnt a good day for mi.


today i when out wif kenny to escape, i did enjoy myself, dunno why suddenly i no mood. maybe the place makes mi tink of her. i really cant be happy wifout her by my side. i really regret alot . is has been quite a time since we have parted, but she's the one whom i loved her the most yet dunno how to treat her well. i... i... hais.... today kenny told mi to get girls number for him. he passed mi his phone i hold it. kenny point the girl that he likes and asked mi to go get her no. i walked to the girls side, suddenly somethin tell mi not to. sumthin keep repeating in my head. i onli love her i cant do tis. keep repeating again and again. the date 270305 keep poping up in my mind. i than tell him to ask himself. but he din he say nvm he know wat im tinking. kenny, my good buddy. i'll nv forget her. she'll always be staying inside my heart. the prirate ship. omg i fuking sit till i wan vomit pls. i wont sit it anymore can!? today got ppl play gold kart bang each other than ended up in gang talks. i and kenny stunned, tinking why now still got so childish ppl liao. lololx

today got happy, also got sad, thinking of how i treated her last time, yes i deseve it. i blame myself. one day see 1 day bah.

i wont be taking anymore drugs promise i swear. regreted spenting so much money on it still complain that i no money.
today stop till here see tml got chance to touch com anot, if got than continue my story :)